As a man you can never underestimate the value of silence. How much is silence worth? Consider this; the Italian Mafia had a word for their code of silence, omerta`. This was a rule, punishable by death that basically said you are not to talk about any crime no matter what, even if it is your worst enemy who committed the crime.
I did some research on omerta` and discovered that the origin of the word is often traced to a Spanish word meaning ‘manliness’. If this does not emphasize the importance of silence I’m not sure what will. Now, I am not advocating following the Mafia’s code of silence. What I am attempting to do is help you realize the importance of silence in being a man.
Recently I have had to attend several dinner parties as part of work functions. I cannot list how many times I have been stuck listening to some guy tell me everything from his latest hobbies, what he did over the weekend, or even about his recent love affairs. I tend to generally listen in silence, partially out of necessity since getting a word in edgewise would be impossible, but mostly out of respect. Not respect for the man who is verbally raping me, but respect for myself.
At the end of the day I know everything about people like that, from their favorite foods to their latest car purchase. What do they know about me? Perhaps a name and occupation, maybe where I went to school, but for the most part I remain a mystery. Now who do you think has gained more respect? Unless through someone’s story telling session I discover they are a Medal of Honor recipient, or perhaps a member of the FBI, I generally don’t gain a lot of respect for them.
On the other hand, when I do (rarely) meet someone who is likeable, carries on a conversation but does not divulge too much personal information, I am impressed. Not only impressed, but the lack of personal information leaves an aire of mystery, and with that comes respect. Some of the most interesting people I have met would willingly divulge very little personal information. Only after asking the right questions and some prodding did I discover they owned their own multi-million dollar business for example, or was an avid gun collector. People who know their lives are interesting don’t need to tell people about it, they already know inside. There is an element of humility present. Which brings me back to omerta`.
The other often referenced origin for the term omerta` is a Latin word meaning ‘humility’. Apparently the true origin of omerta` isn’t known, but I think a lot can be learned from the two versions of it’s origin. ‘Manliness’ through ‘humility’.
Keeping your mouth shut is one of the best ways I know of to exemplify humility, which in turn displays manliness. I’m not suggesting being a social hermit, but simply cut out all the talk about yourself. I would much rather have a conversation with someone and have to ask about their hobbies or interests than be assaulted with too much information right off the bat.
Jabbering on about yourself is for girls and for people with boring lives. I have yet to have someone tell me to stop being a pansy for not talking about myself.
